Struggling here a bit. This is my new BFF Hector. He's been around for almost 2 years and has been the through the worst of the worst with me. He's help me when I came out of the mental institution and he saved my life when I had attempted suicide Nov 2011. Since Oct 2011 he's been my sole support system on and off I push him away. Its blossom into a relationship I know I have no business in. Until I can mend my heart from my divorce and find the right balance with bipolar this guy is left to take the roller coaster ride with me. None of our friends feel sorry for him anymore. He knows what he has on his hands and he's taking a chance. Right now he feels safe and safe is what I need. He won't hurt me and he has such a huge heart. I really feel as if we are more BFF / companion. Not sure if I will get that fire I once felt with Tony maybe thats it maybe there is only "one" and maybe you just have to make sure you end up with someone you can be total friends with.
I started my increased dose last night and today I actually felt great. Lets see what the night holds..when I leave work is when I fall to pieces. I won't be alone tonite so the blues should be minimal.
